The Boy/Man You're Supposed to Be: Maxim Magazine

One day at the gym I picked up an issue of Maxim magazine (they have a pretty lame selection of mags at my gym).  I had no idea that this magazine even existed and thought I may find some good or insightful articles within.   Instead, what I found is a magazine filled with words, images, ideas and thoughts that give a very narrow description of what it means to be male.

Here's some examples followed by the message:

JOKE--A guy driving on the highway gets pulled over by a traffic cop.  The policeman approaches the car and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" The man snorts and relies, "Why is there a fat chick in my car?"


MESSAGE:  Men only like women who are thin (which being a curvy woman myself I can say is simply not true).


LAST TIME I CRIED WAS: I don't cry.  I'm a man.  I weep.  About once a week.

MESSAGE:  Men don't cry (grrrr. . . this one makes me especially mad.   Crying is such a natural process--geez).

MAXIM OFFICE ASSISTANT:  I'm not sure if this is real or not, but they hire a sexy woman to work at the office in her underwear and bring the alcohol.  

MESSAGE:  Women are there to work for the guys and they are always sexy.      (it's kind-of like porn without really saying it's porn.  In fact, in some ways it's more porn than porn--because there's a lot of suggestion).


All in all, here's the Maxim version of a real man:   They definitely drink a lot, love crude jokes, have a motorcycle, love skinny women who have expectations that there men will be traditional (opening doors etc.), love appliances like grills, and are,  for the most part, white.

I'm trying to not be judgemental, but what if you are young and not that guy?  I think a lot of men are much more sensitive than the Maxim man, but they are up against some  pretty strong cultural norms.

Just like my desire for girls to have a lot of space for many different ways of being, it is also my desire for boys.   I hate the cultural implication that there is only one way to be a man.  I know, I know--if you are not that man, just don't read Maxim, but it's more complicated than that.   These are the messages that boys are bombarded with at an early age and so many boys don't fit into this narrow definition.