Children and Stress: The Reset Button and Simplicty Parenting

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This picture depicts our feelings after the busy holiday season.  After Hanukkah, Advent, Christmas and New Years Eve, we were exhausted.

 

We are still paying the price.  

 

Going back to school after the holiday season, Mira has been off.  All the signs we are seeing have led my husband and I to believe that she is suffering from stress.   

 

The stress could be related to many things--job changes in our family, an upcoming trip to Europe, looking for schools for kindergarten,  too many things on our plate.  But, if you ask my opinion,   I think a lot of it stems from coming down from the busy holiday season.   I have noticed that many of my friends are in the same boat.  

 

One friend of mine talked about setting a "Reset" button.  I LOVE that concept. 

 

And that's exactly what we've doing--spending WAY more time at home, cutting down on our schedule and trying to be as peaceful and serene as is possible.    We are already seeing the stress level go way down.  

 

I was telling another friend about our recent family stresses and she suggested I read the book   Simplicity Parenting  by Kim John Payne and Lisa Ross.  

 

I felt a huge sense of calm as I read the first chapter of the book.    I also, admittedly, felt a sense of shame (a parent coach with a stressed out child--gasp).   

 

 Our life is filled with too much stuff, too much of everything--toys, social engagements, activities.   In part, this is because of my own personality and that I thrive on activity and busyness.  But, on a good note,  I am always striving for balance and this book helped me see that the holiday season put us way off kilter.     It helped me see the need to simplify while ALSO honoring my love of activity.     I am not going to be a simple person or parent, it is just not my personality, but I can still become very conscious of the daily choices we make.   

 

One of the best concepts in the book is that you can always RESET.  What this means is that any time you have a child of any age who is suffering from stress (no matter the age), take three days to be with them.  No school.  No sports.  Nothing but enjoyable time with the family.  This can reset any stresses and also has the added benefit of time--so that some of the things stressing out your child may come out naturally over the course of those three days.  

 

I am definitely tucking this one into my brain and I hope we will use this strategy often.    

 

Below you will see the website that has more resources on Simplicity Parenting and of course a link to the book.   

 

I would love to hear from you.  Has your child had challenges recovering from the busy holiday season?  What do you think of Simplicity Parenting.

 

 

 

http://www.simplicityparenting.com/

 

 

 

3 Reasons Why Parent Coaching and Professional Organizers are a good match!

1.   Parenting is chaotic.     One frequent challenge that comes up when I am coaching parents is a feeling that things are out of control in the house or in the car or wherever.   I remember before I was pregnant, I cleaned and organized various parts of the house.  Friends told me I was nesting and that I also would not have a chance to do deep cleaning/organizing for many years.   I didn't really believe them, but. . .well you know the rest.   

2.  Kids can mess up everything you clean and organize.    My daughter in particular is very talented in messing up an entire room within seconds.  My sense of sanity competes with her sense of creativity.   "Mom, don't move that--that's the castle and that's the pathway to the castle and if you move that the fairies will die."   

3.  You will feel so much better and, I believe, be a better parent!   A professional organizer is the ultimate in self-care.  

Since it seems I am always suggesting an organizer to my harried parents, I decided to hire one myself to help me set up my office.   Bonnie McCallister, otherwise known as D Clutter Queen http://dclutterqueen.com/ arrived at my house with an apron, labels, and a delicious hot lunch.  

I told her I was kind-of nervous.   To me, my papers were a mountain of "stuff."  When I tried to sort through them myself, I'd find myself sucked into reading old notes from workshops I attended or I'd just shuffle and shuffle unsure of where to put anything.   In fact, embarrassingly, that huge pile had remained in the corner of my so called office/husband's dumping room for dirty clothes for a year and a half.  

The first thing Bonnie and I tackled was my bookshelf.   Within a half hour my books were organized and beautifully displayed.  There was also room for my parent coaching materials.   All my notebooks were clearly labeled.   By the time we got half way through the mountain of papers (which Bonnie said wasn't really as big as I felt it was), things started to come together easily and effortlessly.   We worked, talked, sipped tea and felt sort-of amazed that my entire mountain was gone in the span of an hour.   

Bonnie took one look at my desk and exclaimed that it was way to small for the important work I was going to be doing and for my soon-to-be thriving Parent Coaching Business.   (Bonnie happens to have a particular talent for moving furniture around in a house without spending a penny buying anything new).   I remembered there was a table down in the basement and we moved it up as well as an area rug.  Suddenly, the room was completely transformed and I mean COMPLETELY!   

The best part of this experience was that Mira scored too!  My little desk was the perfect size for her.  We did some quick rearranging in her room and VOILA, my girl has a sweet little desk.    She is over the moon!

And I am one gigantic step closer to the thriving business I imagine. 

Bonnie and I ate a delicious lunch and talked over the experience.  It sure is emotional to go through old stuff, but having someone so sweet and non judgemental works wonders.   Good luck with your own organizational projects and don't forget, a parent coach can help you figure out what you need and want to move closer to your dream.