Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can't Stop Talking

I just read this book for my book club.  It made for great conversation and reflected to me how important it is to notice and honor the natural bend of our children.   There is a LOT to think about in this book and almost anyone would benefit from reading it (or even a small part of it).   

As for me,   I am an extrovert with leanings towards introversion.  It's almost as if I am such a whirlwind of extroversion, that I look for places and ways to slow myself down and honor the many quieter parts of myself that get muted.   My husband is an introvert and his slow and quiet way of being in the world is a comfort to me.    I also seek out, what Cain terms, restorative niches.    For me, this is eating lunch alone, traveling alone, or sneaking off for a day in the city, completely anonymous.   

My four year old daughter has parents that model very different ways of being in the world socially. I am not sure if she leans towards introversion or extroversion--I see her as having both of those qualities.   I know that she needs restorative niches and that it takes her a while to enter into group play.    I try to be aware of these needs.    I try to balance lots of activity with down time (though it is hard for me to do this because I am always on the go).  I honor the little nooks she creates for herself around the house, seeing this as a comfort for her rather than a mess I can't wait to clean up.    In other words, being aware of introversion and extroversion can allow us to parent more consciously.   

It can also allow us a better understanding of our children.  For example, my step-daughter is a Senior in college.  Although we have a great relationship,  I have always felt that she is standoffish when we talk on the phone.  She will tell us how busy she is and explain that she can only talk for a certain amount of time.  When we plan a visit, she will first tell us about the things she has to do over the weekend.    This has always hurt my feelings and doesn't seem to match the great enthusiasm and warmth that she has towards us when we are with her.    But after reading this book I realized that she is simply defining her space.  It's important to her, as a more introverted person, to outline her own needs.  This realization has made me feel so much better about my relationship with my wonderful step-daughter.  

I hope you find some wisdom in this book and feel free to report back your own insights!

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/