Chicago Bat Mitzvah Part One
My husband and I just returned from a trip to Chicago, where we attended my niece Anna's bat mitzvah. It was a glorious, warm, very fun and meaningful event.
My niece handled the event with graciousness and poise. Her seventh grade friends poured into the temple. They were Jewish and non-Jewish, boys and girls, black and white. My husband and I were in charge of crowd control, but we didn't have to do a thing — minus one ringing cell phone, they were perfectly behaved.
At night, we came along to chaperone the kids' party. Just as we arrived, led to the right place by high-pitched shrieks, the DJ was inviting kids up to make speeches for my niece. I had never seen her interacting in her peer group and, speech after speech, the kids said that she was very kind-hearted. I don't think I've ever been such a proud Auntie! I had always deemed my niece one of the nicest and sweetest kids, but you still never know what goes on at school!
She's also talented, bright, and (as gleaned from the bat mitvah event) liked and respected by her friends. I wondered to myself if it is because of her inner confidence that she has no need to be aggressive towards others.
I think of myself at that age — I wasn't nearly as savvy. In fact, I was rather a mess of raging hormones and insecurities. I wanted to fit in and was both a victim and a perpetrator of relational aggression. That was the norm, that was what my friends did.
Amazingly, I could detect no outward signs of relational aggression the whole night (of course, I do realize that things may have been going on under my nose, but my intuitive sense was that there wasn't any mean uncurrent). At one point, in the bathroom, I heard two girls talking about some boys they liked, but there was no meanness directed towards anyone else.
I had asked my niece once about RA in her school. She said that there is little. Her friend, from another school, was listening and piped in that there was a lot at her school. This is very interesting to me, that the school climate can vary so radically from school to school. One girl, one clique, one grade with a certain combo of kids, can make a difference in a girl's life. My niece is lucky!
As I did the Twist with my husband (in the back of the room of course!), I felt a rush of joy. I am sometimes so wrapped up in the RA world, I can forget about girls having fun; girls who are empowered, confident, and free to be whoever they are. Although girls often tell me their horror stories, they also tell me of their joys. I have been lucky enough to meet amazing girls from all over the country and this night was no exception.
My niece handled the event with graciousness and poise. Her seventh grade friends poured into the temple. They were Jewish and non-Jewish, boys and girls, black and white. My husband and I were in charge of crowd control, but we didn't have to do a thing — minus one ringing cell phone, they were perfectly behaved.
At night, we came along to chaperone the kids' party. Just as we arrived, led to the right place by high-pitched shrieks, the DJ was inviting kids up to make speeches for my niece. I had never seen her interacting in her peer group and, speech after speech, the kids said that she was very kind-hearted. I don't think I've ever been such a proud Auntie! I had always deemed my niece one of the nicest and sweetest kids, but you still never know what goes on at school!
She's also talented, bright, and (as gleaned from the bat mitvah event) liked and respected by her friends. I wondered to myself if it is because of her inner confidence that she has no need to be aggressive towards others.
I think of myself at that age — I wasn't nearly as savvy. In fact, I was rather a mess of raging hormones and insecurities. I wanted to fit in and was both a victim and a perpetrator of relational aggression. That was the norm, that was what my friends did.
Amazingly, I could detect no outward signs of relational aggression the whole night (of course, I do realize that things may have been going on under my nose, but my intuitive sense was that there wasn't any mean uncurrent). At one point, in the bathroom, I heard two girls talking about some boys they liked, but there was no meanness directed towards anyone else.
I had asked my niece once about RA in her school. She said that there is little. Her friend, from another school, was listening and piped in that there was a lot at her school. This is very interesting to me, that the school climate can vary so radically from school to school. One girl, one clique, one grade with a certain combo of kids, can make a difference in a girl's life. My niece is lucky!
As I did the Twist with my husband (in the back of the room of course!), I felt a rush of joy. I am sometimes so wrapped up in the RA world, I can forget about girls having fun; girls who are empowered, confident, and free to be whoever they are. Although girls often tell me their horror stories, they also tell me of their joys. I have been lucky enough to meet amazing girls from all over the country and this night was no exception.
Labels: Bat mitzvah. My niece is not relationally aggressive.
posted by Peggy300 at
10:01 PM
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